we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
