Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
