Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
