Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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