so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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