there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
