your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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