real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you didnt know i had herpes?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
