@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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