He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
