you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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