I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
