small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
