Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
being pregnant is like rehab
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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