He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
