How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
