I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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