Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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