i don't like sucking hair
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
