I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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