i think i have herpe
just one?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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