he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
