her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
