i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
