I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
