I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
