I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
