found the other keg... it's in the tree
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
