Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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