just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
