They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
