WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
