I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
