He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
cat food counts as protein by the way
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My dick has a subreddit
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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