PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
