i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
