Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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