IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
