i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
