I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
