Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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