Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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