the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
