What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
