well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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