Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
