PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude i'm inner monologue high
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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