I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
