My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
