Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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