and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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