too bad you live with your parents still
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
