I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
